i always knew i wanted to be a mom.<\/p>\n
growing up one of five irish catholic kids, becoming a mother just seemed natural. when i married my husband, also one of five kids, we agreed we would have a family.<\/p>\n
i got pregnant, as easily as i expected. i miscarried. we spent a nervous year trying to get pregnant again. again, i miscarried. the third pregnancy was the charm; our son was born healthy. i was, and always will be, tremendously grateful to be a mother.<\/p>\n
remembering how long it took to become parents, we skipped birth control. i was pregnant on our son\u2019s first birthday. our two sons are twenty months apart.<\/p>\n
my husband and i thought about a third child, and decided to again skip birth control. i was 34. we knew that older moms and their babies face more complications. we made a plan: if i wasn\u2019t pregnant again by 40, our family would be complete. two parents. two kids.<\/p>\n
i turned 40, and ran my first marathon. our family was set. i turned 41, and became pregnant. for years, i had wanted a bigger family, a daughter. now, i — the third of five children– didn\u2019t want a third child. i told my husband i wanted an abortion.<\/p>\n
he paused. \u201care you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201ci\u2019ll support whatever you want to do, and i know it\u2019s your choice, but are you sure?\u201d he asked, looking at me, waiting to hear what i was thinking.
\neven now, fifteen years later, i remember the conversation, the two of us, a stable middle-class married couple, standing in our walk-in closet, getting ready for bed, talking. our sons asleep in the bedroom next door.<\/p>\n
“yes,\u201d i said, \u201ci\u2019m certain.\u201d<\/p>\n
i did not want this fifth pregnancy. my mind flashed through scenes of diapers, high chairs, potty-training, playgrounds, pre-school, all the stages we\u2019d walk with another child. i would be 47 years old with a kindergartner; 59 years old at high school graduation. it wasn\u2019t the family i wanted. i knew what being a mother means, and knew i didn\u2019t want to do the work of parenting a third child.<\/p>\n
the next day, we booked an appointment at planned parenthood.
\nat our local clinic, by the library we frequented with our sons, my husband and i sat quietly in a modest waiting room. i went through the initial check-up and tests. we scheduled the abortion before we left.<\/p>\n
the same month, we went back to the clinic. men aren\u2019t allowed in the medical rooms, so my husband sat in the waiting room, watching a movie, remember the titans. i don\u2019t remember the actual abortion. the clinic visit went quickly, smoothly. afterwards, we stopped for lunch, then spent a peaceful afternoon playing and reading with our sons when they came home from school. i remember looking at our boys, thankful for our family. two parents, two kids.<\/p>\n
over the years, my husband and i embraced the family we have. we are complete. i began volunteering for planned parenthood, outside the clinic where i had my abortion. with fellow volunteers, i greeted and escorted patients, buffering them from protesters, just as others had done for me.<\/p>\n
this year, once again i stood outside planned parenthood, a more modern saint paul facility that replaced the small clinic that helped me. on a brisk winter saturday, i marched amid hundreds of other pro-choice women, men, and their children, many clad in pink, a cheery and vocal counter to a much smaller, muted anti-abortion protest.<\/p>\n
amid the multitude of pinks, i spotted my 25-year-old niece, smiling and bright-eyed, walking with her boyfriend and other friends. i thought about her, wondering if in a few years, she and other women will still have the right to choose when and whether to have a family.<\/p>\n
abortion is often a private decision. by being public, i\u2019m exposing myself to potential criticism, and perhaps, worse. at 41, i trusted myself to make the right choice. at 56, i trust myself to share this story, hoping it might help others– my niece, maybe women my sons will love– to have the choice i had.<\/p>\n
becoming a parent is an immense responsibility, too significant to leave to chance. parenthood should be an intentional decision. i had a choice.<\/p>\n
every woman should have that choice.<\/p>\n
the next time you think of abortion, maybe you\u2019ll think of me, a married mother who loves her children, and chose not to have another.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
i always knew i wanted to be a mom.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 ":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[296],"tags":[301,303],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20769"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20769"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20769\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 ?parent=20769"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20769"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20769"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}