when i was 15, i had a sleepover with 2 girls
\nwho were daughters of a friend of my parents. we were not friends. 1 was a year older than me, 1 a year younger. at some point in the evening we reached the point of “one upmanship” and started telling tales.<\/p>\n
i actually am sure that the tales they told were true, but maybe i’m na\u00efve. but when cornered with so many other tales of how worldly and mature they were, i lied. i told them than i had gotten pregnant and that my father had forced me to have an abortion. i passed it off as not a big deal. i stood proud that night. i had gone farther than them into the world of adulthood. until 2 weeks later. i came home from school and both my parents were there. and they wanted to talk. they asked if i had had an abortion. they asked if i had been pregnant. i remember my father saying “see, you messed up. these girls have never known a dad, so they asked their mother, ‘is this what a dad is like?'” and then the actual lecture started. it was a friday night and the lecture didn’t truly end until sunday night. my father was absolutely pro-life. he was a born christian, a quaker, the son of a minister, and a resolute republican. i am not describing him, those are just some of the reasons he listed for being anti-abortion. he, as well as my mother, were both very upset that i had said this horrible thing. that in the face of peer pressure, i had gone the extra mile into hell.<\/p>\n
7 months later, i got pregnant. at the age of 16. i was so sure i would keep this baby. my parents would surely back me up and love it as i would. until my parents found out i was actually pregnant. to this day i can hear my father shouting “if everything goes right it will still cost $2000 for you to squat on a table and shit that thing out!” i argued that i wanted the baby. he gave me a choice. a choice of methods. i could get an abortion, or he could just beat it out of me. he made me make the phone calls to find the cheapest place. i remember being appalled at the cost of $300 for an abortion. thought later it turned out to be $325 because i was rh negative.<\/p>\n
i could barely make the call. i was crying so hard. but i did. the appointment was in less than 48 hours. the nurse was wonderful. i had to get a thing implanted and then go back the next day. to this day, i can remember something about bamboo? but i’m not sure. so that thing expanded over night and the next day i had the abortion. it was painful, and scary and deeply humiliating. my mother was with me the entire time and she just kept praying for me. then it was over.
\ni am supposed to tell you now how horrible it was and how it affected my life forever. so here goes.<\/p>\n
11 months later i met john. and we hit it off. i had to leave home forever and travel to meet him, but there you go. i never would have it i had had a baby. it’s now 27 years later. john and i have been married 26 years. we have 4 gorgeous children. i would never have met the man of my dreams if i had not had that abortion. in my entire life, this is the only thing i am thankful for that my father chose for me. my biggest regret about my abortion is that i did not, and was not, able to choose it for myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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