at about thirteen i was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic.
\n(it has been over fifteen years since that diagnosis and i still have not achieved “good control”)
\ni started smoking sometime later that year.
\nat about seventeen i was diagnosed with hypothyroidism.
\nwithin two years i would be diagnosed with a number of other health problems.<\/p>\n
hormones are not an option, neither are iuds.<\/p>\n
since i was a child i have always wanted to raise children.
\nsince my diagnosis as a diabetic, i knew i would eventually adopt rather than have my own children.
\npregnancy is difficult for diabetics.
\nit is risky; it must be well planned; it must be monitored carefully.
\nwith good control, it is possible to have a healthy baby.<\/p>\n
knowing all that: diabetes is hereditary.
\ni cannot live with the idea of putting my child through what i go through on a daily basis.<\/p>\n
that is all without considering the effects of hypothyroidism, or my other health problems, on pregnancy.<\/p>\n
when i was 23 a condom broke; he hadn’t ejaculated, we thought nothing of it.
\nit was fourth of july my cycle had ended two weeks before; he hadn’t ejaculated, we thought nothing of it.
\nwe had just started dating, though we remained together another four years.<\/p>\n
then my period didn’t start.
\ni made an appointment at planned parenthood.
\ni explained to the receptionist the time frame and my health concerns.
\ni had a trans-vaginal ultrasound, confirming the pregnancy was less than 8 weeks, and took the pills.<\/p>\n
i’m nearly thirty now; around christmas time i was ten days late.
\ni only knew the clinic was there from seeing protesters outside.
\ni called the clinic to make an appointment for three days later.<\/p>\n
twenty minutes after i got off the phone with the receptionist i started bleeding.
\ni had a miscarriage.<\/p>\n
i still cannot find a doctor willing to perform a tubal ligation.
\ni “will change my mind”, so i keep being told.<\/p>\n
choice is important, at all steps.
\nconstantly being told i will one day change my mind about a decision i have firmly believed in, for well over half of my life, is degrading.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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