i had an abortion in my early 20s. in the sub-culture where i lived at the time, it was sort of an unspoken assumption that getting pregnant would be dealt with via abortion.<\/p>\n
my boyfriend and i had never discussed the possibility of pregnancy, or what we\u2019d do if it happened to us. we used what we thought was very reliable birth control, so it seemed like a non-issue\u00a0for us. when i found out i was pregnant, i was shocked. i never hesitated about my decision, but the whole thing was a lot harder than i expected. my boyfriend went with me for the actual procedure, but was no help at all. he just complained that i was holding his hand too tight. when he wouldn\u2019t let me hold his hand anymore, the nurse, bless her heart, held my hand. it was more painful than i expected.<\/p>\n
after the abortion, i fell apart for a while. i didn\u2019t realize what a struggle it would be to come to terms with it. i completely 100% didn\u2019t want a child, and my boyfriend even less. but i\u2019d been raised catholic, and i guess i did feel, somewhere that i\u2019d never acknowledged, that abortion was basically selfish and wrong. my boyfriend couldn\u2019t understand what my problem was, and ridiculed me, then became more verbally abusive and manipulative. i think he started hating me. but i was such a mess that i couldn\u2019t walk away from him for a long time.<\/p>\n
now, it seems to me that what got me was this cultural construction of the all-loving, all-sacrificing mother, and an idea that i should have looked harder to find that in myself. but, you know what? if i had had that baby, my life would have been a total mess for a whole lot longer than it was. i would have had that abusive guy in my life forever. i would have resented that kid, and i wouldn\u2019t have had a clue how to raise him\/her. my family would have shunned me, and i wouldn\u2019t have finished school.<\/p>\n
most of all, i wouldn\u2019t have found my current loving husband and i wouldn\u2019t have had my amazing daughter. i wouldn\u2019t have become the person i am now . . . loving life, and myself, and my family, and my community. having the skills and resources to help other people (i\u2019m a trauma counselor now).<\/p>\n
i\u2019ve grieved for my lost baby from so long ago, and put him\/her to rest the best that i could. i know now that i did the right thing. instead of following a moral code that would have damaged my life, my boyfriend\u2019s life, and contributed another damaged soul to the world, i was able to follow my heart\u00a0and become whole myself, help others heal, and raise a wanted child, in a way that allows her to fully blossom into the best person she can be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
i had an abortion in my early 20s. in the sub-culture where i lived at the time, it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 ":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[296],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19531"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19531"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19531\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 ?parent=19531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}