the first, i was 20, fresh out of design school, found a boyfriend, used condoms religiously. my boyfriend\u2019s other girlfriend apparently poked holes in the whole box of them we kept at his place. i missed my first period and started getting violently ill whenever i ate anything, and i started to hurt, everywhere. if my hair blew in a breeze, it hurt. it hurt to walk, talk, move.
\nand i couldn\u2019t keep anything down except crackers and water. that went on for a month. during that month, my boyfriend\u2019s other girlfriend wound up pregnant. we broke up so he could marry her. i missed my second period and finally talked to my parents. i couldn\u2019t raise a child. i couldn\u2019t afford it, still lived at home, i needed help. my mother told me that the decision was mine, and all she could tell me was to make the best decision for me. i had my first abortion a week later. it wasn\u2019t a bad experience. the nurses were very kind, the anesthesia was a complete blocker, i felt nothing and babbled throughout to a very kind nurse named julie. my mom drove me home, tucked me into bed and brought me soup. i could eat again. i didn\u2019t ache any more.
\nthe second i had five years after that. i was in love with a guy who also happened to be a drug dealer. not smart, but i\u2019m convinced i became stupid for a few years in there. it\u2019s the only excuse i have.
\nwe used condoms religiously, only this time i provided them. it was my stash, i was in charge of the condoms. \u201cno glove, no love. don\u2019t be silly, wrap that willy.\u201d i laughed at the slogans, but was deadly serious. i didn\u2019t want to be a mother. i\u2019m too selfish to be a mother. since the pill made me sick, and i was raised in the era of the iud-fear, it was condoms or motherhood. i\u2019ll take a condom, please. my boyfriend didn\u2019t like it. gave the usual arguments including \u2018i\u2019ll pull out in time!\u2019 no go. no glove, no love.
\none night he decided it was time to have sex without a condom. i woke up the next morning covered in the \u2018mess\u2019. i hoped, i prayed, i crossed my fingers, i broke up with him… my period had just finished 4 days before, after all. three days later, i started aching. my brain whispered, \u201cyou\u2019re pregnant.\u201d i ignored that voice. one week after we had gotten high, food started to nauseate me. i took a home pregnancy test, knowing it would be positive.
\nthe intake nurse at the doctor\u2019s office didn\u2019t believe me when i told her when my periods were. i had to take 2 different kinds of pregnancy tests at the office for her to sign me in. i drove myself. nobody i had asked was willing to go with me, and i didn\u2019t want to ask my mom. so i drove myself, and lied to the intake nurse. i told her i had taken the bus. she told me that meant they couldn\u2019t use \u2018the good stuff\u2019 and they\u2019d have to keep me for a couple hours afterwards to make sure i was ok.
\nnot using \u2018the good stuff\u2019 meant using a local. the nurses at this particular doctor weren\u2019t kind, they were brusque, and the doctor was non- communicative. although it was very painful, it was quick. they apparently analyzed the tissue because the doc came in while i was in recovery for the 2 hours. he said he had never had anyone come in with a freshly implanted embryo before. i was literally twelve days pregnant.
\ni asked him then about the ache, the sudden nausea. he said it was probably a bad reaction to the sudden change in hormones and said he was surprised the stick test came back positive, but that could be the sudden change in hormones too.
\ni\u2019ve been pregnancy free since then, and that was 16 years ago. i\u2019m looking forward to menopause since i still can\u2019t take the pill. i\u2019ve looked into the iud and my doc says i\u2019m not a good candidate. i also can\u2019t afford a sterilization. but i do have a wonderful relationship (4 years now) and he\u2019s not in the mood for kids, either. condoms and spermicide are the contraceptives of choice.
\ni\u2019m happy abortion exists, and although i cannot agree to using it as a contraceptive method in and of itself, i will fight to the death to keep it accessible for all women, everywhere.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
the first, i was 20, fresh out of design school, found a boyfriend, used condoms religiously. my boyfriend\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 ":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[296],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19485"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19485"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19485\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 ?parent=19485"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19485"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/\/www.k12fl.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19485"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}