eventually, i started a relationship with a man who was handsome and charming; leaving me smitten. the relationship changed and he was unfaithful. when confronted, he would get angry. the anger then changed to psychological abuse, then to physical abuse; blaming me for his actions. i’d lock my door at night, that wouldn’t stop him. i was afraid of him but had nowhere to go, no friends or family; and he’d rape me. i became pregnant and was more terrified than ever. i aborted it. i realized i would have to associate myself with a monster of a human, and could never raise a child to see their mother be beaten, raped or killed. i was afraid for my life. it was the second hardest decision to make, my first was walking out that door to save my life, and never look back. i asked for forgiveness, but i don’t regret doing something that i know saved me. i chose my life. victims of domestic violence will be the only ones who understand.