steps

responses

encouraging
sound open and positive before you make a decision.

“tell me more about the prom …”

“it’s wonderful that you want to go …”

fact finding
get information to make a decision or state your ideas. who, what, where, when, why, how?

“i need more information …”

“tell me more …”

restating
understand the facts; be clear about what the other person is asking.

“what you’re asking me is can you go to the prom and stay our all night?”

reflecting
identify your feelings and the feelings of the other person.

“i know you’re excited about the prom and you will probably be disappointed that you cannot stay out all night. i am glad that you get to go.”

summarizing
clearly state the decision or agreement.

“this is my decision … you can go to the prom, go to the party afterwards, and be home by 2 am.”

or

“this is what we agreed upon … you can go to the prom, go to the party afterwards, and be home by 2 am. is that right?”