i have submitted this story to shed light on something that we all know to be true but sometimes others forget: a woman’s right to carry her pregnancy to term or have an abortion is the sole right of that woman, something she shouldn’t be pressured about.

unable to imagine having a child (who was likely conceived while there were still drugs in my system) at that age, while being under-employed, living with roommates, and unable to tell my family about the drugs or the baby, we choose to terminate the pregnancy.

a few of my friends have been there for me, but if you haven't gone through it, it's hard to relate. i'm on the road to making peace about what i decided to do - but reading the other stories and realizing i am not the only one who has gone through this helps immensely.

why would i choose to expose a child to such a toxic relationship? he was emotionally abusive and i wanted a better life for myself than that. so i left him. i refuse to allow others to make me feel guilty for making this decision. six years have passed and i've never been happier.

i'm 49 years old, and even though it made me sad to do it, i was also very relieved that i could choose about my own body and when to bring a child into this world.

i had an abortion. i still wonder what our baby would have been like (we are still together), but i know it wasn't the right time for me, or for him.