i was 23 and i had just broken up with my jealous and controlling boyfriend. a couple weeks later i found out i was pregnant. i had no idea what to do, i told my ex boyfriend who told me there was no way it was his because i was clearly sleeping around and cheating on him.

its not a memory i used to be able to share, but i have realized how necessary it is to accept who one is. i was 15, and my boyfriend was 16. i was raised in a strict christian household, to the degree that sex and even more, contraception, was not a conversation in our household.

i received a safe and legal abortion when an unplanned pregnancy followed not long after the birth of my second child. because i was treated with respect and care, and because the choice to end the pregnancy fit with my life plan and my core values, the event was not traumatic.

i was seventeen when i found out i was pregnant to a boy (also seventeen) who i had been dating for a little over a month. i barely graduated highschool, and had serious depression, anxiety, bulimia.

my boyfriend at the time took advantage of me, did not listen to me, and a month later i started craving blueberries (of all things!).

i grew up in a home surrounded by mental illness. i knew i didn't have the skills or the gene pool for parenthood, but i got married to a manipulative man and we got pregnant twice.