there was a drugstore on the drag that my roommate and i used for everything, but no way i was getting a pregnancy test there. what if i saw a sorority sister or classmate?

i lost track of the abortions i had — at least five — but thank the goddess i could get safe, legal and affordable abortions when i needed them. i realize in retrospect that while i thought of myself as a strong woman in my 20s and early 30s, i was really a puppet to men who didn't value me as a person but just someone to get them laid.

my story is not the norm. it happened in december, 2013. i was thirty, engaged to be married, had a well-paying job and a lovely house with plenty of privacy in a nice neighborhood. for all intents and purposes, this time in my life should be when i have children. but that life is not what i want.

sometimes i question my decision, i have thoughts about the twins i never gave birth to.
i was 18 when i found out i was pregnant it was the weekend i was at new student orientation getting ready to start my first year of college.

i got mine in a sterile, hospital environment and the physician performing was funny and kind. he knew that i didn’t much want a man doing the operation because i didn’t want a strange male seeing my female parts, but i got over it because hey, he’s a doctor.

i am 39 years old, a wife of 19 years, and a mother of 3 healthy beautiful children whom i love dearly. i am one of those oh so lucky people who cannot take birth control because it causes me to have blood clots in my legs so my husband and i use several different methods for birth control;