i was raised in the mormon church, and had been told to always be a good girl, and learned how to be codependent at a very early age.

i saved the ultrasound picture in a dated envelope, stuck it in a drawer and just as i closed the drawer - i closed out that moment in my life. they asked if i planned to continue with the pregnancy, at the tender, scared and reckless age of 18, in a low whisper, i said, “no.”

i have had 2 abortions, one when i was in my mid twenties, unmarried and living with my boyfriend. we were career minded and wanted to be married before we had our first child. i had no guilt, no remorse.

i was 15, my boyfriend and i had been dating since i was 14 (which is when i lost my virginity). my parents were going through a divorce and i felt i had no one so i felt like he understood me.

i was 15 when an uncle by marriage took interest in me. he taught me to drive, bought me what ever i wanted, even the alcohol i asked for. then he introduced me to marijuana.

i wanted to become a mom since i was a teenager, but i knew that i needed to wait until i was financially stable and in a healthy relationship.