six weeks before my daughter's first birthday, i learned that i was again pregnant.

i am a 25 year old british pakistani muslim living in the outskirts of london with my parent and 5 siblings. my mother and older sisters cover up, in the name of hijab, for islam. i used to and don't anymore.

i had one kid already, he was maybe 14 months old. i was living with my mother in law, and i refer to it as "when i lived in hell". she hated me, and i hated her right back. it was a horrible time to be pregnant.

i grew up in suburban texas, where "sex education" consisted of little more than a mean girls-esque "if you have sex, you will get pregnant, and die".

i had one abortion when i was 21. i am now 68. i am a rape survivor.

i was in an abusive marriage with one child already. i can never speak of this as married women are not supposed to get abortions.