forty years ago i had an abortion when i was 19. it was december 1971, two years before roe v. wade.

i was 21-years-old, in college, in my first long-term relationship and working part-time at a corporate book store when the condom broke. having a baby was not a possibility as i was in debt, had no health insurance (this was before you could stay on your parents' policy). neither i, nor my partner at the time wanted a kid, so we made the decision together to not.

i was only 14 when i had an abortion. i hated myself for a very long time afterwards, because that's what society says is the appropriate feeling to have after an abortion.

the first time, i was 18, a freshman in college, and should've known better. i was a smart girl. but my erratic (and oftentimes absent) periods made me think i was safe. when i found out i was pregnant, my sophomore boyfriend helped me find a clinic, paid for the procedure, and stayed with me.

i had my first abortion when i was 19, in a good relationship with someone i loved. the condom broke, and i knew as soon as i saw the positive pregnancy test (that i took in a public bathroom at the mall because i didn't want anyone to know) that i would not carry to term.

i was a young, nineteen year old girl from a privileged family brought up in a suburb of new york. my parents took me to santa domingo to have my illegal abortion.