this will be my 4th abortion. i had 2 abortions before having my first daughter. my daughter was kidnapped by her father at 2 years old and taken overseas after moving across the country with no family or friends. troubled by the loss and kidnapping of my daughter, i had turned to drugs and met my current boyfriend whom i have been with for 3 years. we still currently use illicit drugs together to cope, sharing similar tragedies. we found each other and bonded through trauma. we’ve made the decision to end 2 pregnancies in one year, terrified of the historical traumatic consequences of having children. i decided to share this story being that it will be my last.