i was just 18 years old.
a college freshman with big dreams.

on the run from abuse,
fleeing from date rape
that had been masquerading as love
for the last 18 months.

my rebound relationship
got serious real quick,
with the appearance of those two pink lines.

just days before christmas,
panic is setting in.
i can’t have a baby,
it wasn’t in my plan.

i loved that baby,
but knew what would happen
if i brought him or her into the world.

workin’ 50 hour weeks,
can’t afford diapers,
got too many bills to pay,
all my dreams are buried six feet under.

i am not a monster.
i am not a murderer.

i am your sister,
your daughter,
your friend.

know that i made my choice
out of love.
nine weeks, two days.
i loved you even then.

i love you now.
i remember you everyday.

i am not ashamed.