i am 77 years old. i was a virgin until i was 21 and didn’t sleep around. when i was 22 i was date raped, got pregnant, and couldn’t find a safe way to have an abortion. i had a healthy, baby girl who, because of my family circumstances, i felt i had to give up. i had cause to believe she was given to a good couple who desperately wanted a baby. for the next 6 – 7 years i grieved, did not have any self-worth and became promiscuous. about 2 years later i got pregnant again. still no “pill” or abortion available. rather than kill myself (a thought i entertained) i “performed” an abortion on myself (being an o.r. nurse i knew sterile technique and took a couple of catheters and prep material from work). no one knew of my plan and i never felt so alone and scared. however, when one is desperate a person will do most anything. i never felt guilty i aborted myself, but the guilt and sadness for my baby girl has never left me.