i was 18 and had been with my boyfriend for a year. he and i had the “what if” conversation and i said in no uncertain terms that if the birth control i always used failed that i would have an abortion while he, on the other hand, insisted that he would marry me.

he joined the navy and after he went back from a leave i discovered our time together resulted in a pregnancy. my father had just had a heart attack and there was no way i was going to go visit intensive care to tell him his youngest daughter just got pregnant 2 months before i was to start college. the stress could have literally killed him and the disaster it would have made of several lives doesn’t bear consideration. i wrote my boyfriend about the situation then scheduled my abortion which was done before i got his response.

that response went exactly as i expected despite his earlier protestations that he would marry me. after his initial thrill at the idea that he was capable of getting a girl pregnant, the reality hit him. he realized he wasn’t any more ready to get married or have a child than i was and panic set in. his letter included an apology and a money order i didn’t ask for to help pay for the procedure.

i had to borrow money from a friend and go alone. i was the only girl of about 10 there alone. the doctor was outstanding and compassionate. i have never, for a moment, felt i had made the wrong decision. a child should never be penance for the percentage of ineffectiveness of any type of birth control.