i had been in a stable relationship for over a year when, despite using birth control, i got pregnant. i had just started college that year and he hadn’t started yet. we decided that abortion was the best thing. we hadn’t talked about the future before then and i don’t believe in marriage ‘for the sake of the baby.’ those marriages don’t last, and the ones that do, don’t function (as a rule). i did not want have a child i couldn’t afford. i also did not want to have a child who would be resented – by me, or its father, or anyone else. i was the resented child, no child is better for growing up with that. i wanted to give my child everything, and knew that i could not. so i terminated the pregnancy. it was the right thing to do. i hate that. i wonder every day who that child would have been, and my heart hurts, but it was unequivocally the right thing to do. i sacrificed that child to provide better for any children i may have after that one.