i was living abroad when i met my boyfriend and we were together for three years before i returned to the us to advance my professional career. the job i had abroad was just not getting anywhere. he was going to join me, but was unfortunately denied a visa. we were separated for seven months before i could go back to see him. when i did, we got engaged and i got pregnant. i had already returned to the us before i found out, and we had to make a decision over the phone. we were going to get married in two months, but didn’t know how long it would be until we would be living in the same place again as we waited for immigration to sort out paperwork. it could have been over a year. in the meantime, i was still freelancing and developing contacts. the only option i could imagine would have been to move home to my parent’s house, which was not ideal and would have further stunted my ambition. he would have accepted whatever decision i made, but i think we were both relieved to have the option to wait until we could be together. i went by myself and got the abortion pill on a thursday. on saturday, it was over. we are married now and are both relieved we have options and time to get our life more settled before welcoming a child into the world.

choice matters. no one can predict the situation that others might be in. it pains me to see legislation that restricts access to safe abortions arising in so many areas of our country. smart, informed, loved, and responsible women get pregnant all the time. abused, mistreated, and overlooked women do to. restricting access to abortions does not stop pregnancy, it only creates shame. let women (and if they are lucky, their partners, too) make private decisions that only they may understand the motivations for.