i live in the uk and i have had two abortions. the first one happened in 1987 when my boyfriend at that time – who i had been with for nearly three years, disappeared and refused to speak to me for three weeks after i told him. i was 25 and just couldn’t go through with it on my own. the trauma of having the abortion was so great that i became pregnant again within a year and gave birth. the second was 10 years later – this time with a different boyfriend who was violent, controlling and had a severe alcohol problem – this time i got counseling, explored my financial options and got off the table and walked out of the clinic. but i then went back because this time i had to consider my existing child – i was already exhausted as a single parent, and simply did not have the energy to start all over again on my own. i still think about both of the children i would have had, but even now, i know that i would not have been able to cope emotionally. i live with what i did every day, but i am grateful i had the choice. without it i don’t think i would be here now. until society addresses the inequalities that women suffer and thus gives women who want to keep their children some realistic support and financial help, abortion is often the only choice there is.