i was told by 3 doctors that i was 1) too young- under the age of 30 2) only had 1 child 3) had to get my husband’s permission. i had my husbands full support as we had our 1 child but i was confused and furious over reasons #1 and #2. how could i be considered “too young”? who were these doctors to tell me what i couldn’t do with my own body? i was 28 years old, i knew what i wanted and was told “no”.

next option was long term birth control. ex: iud. i wanted a non-hormonal iud for my own personal reasons and it didn’t give me any problems for over a year. then in dec of 2016 my period didn’t come but i had some spotting and thought, it’s coming. it wasn’t enough spotting to be considered a period and i told my husband about it. i couldn’t sleep so around 4 a.m. i drove to walmart for a test and took it when i got home. i was still partly in denial because i didn’t want another baby and my iud was still in place doing it’s job, supposedly. when i saw the positive test i yelled, screamed, and most of all cried with my husband. this wasn’t what i wanted and i was mad at my body for betraying me. my doctor confirmed my pregnancy that week and said i’d most likely miscarry after the iud was taken out. but when i didn’t, i started looking for an abortion clinic. i cried for days before and after my abortion. i was so angry and disappointed at my body and my husbands sperm if i’d being completely honest. and looking back i don’t have guilt or regret, because our choice was what was best for our family.

though i’ve supported women having the right to choose, i didn’t think i’d be the one to make that particular choice. my husband did get a vasectomy a month after our abortion and if i could i’d get my tubes tied as a back up plan. my pregnancy happened because my iud had shifted a smidgen to where it was ineffective. plain and simple. i didn’t have any pain to let me know it wasn’t in it’s proper place. these types of situations happen, whether we want them to or not. we made our choice and we answer to no one but ourselves.