i asked if he had a condom, he said no…i thought “oh it’ll be fine!” (little did i know). i even woke up the next day saying, “maybe i should get a plan b????” nahhhh, he pulled out. i should be fine….wow. dumbest mistake i could’ve made in my life

my last period was may 4th and remember clearly because it was the first day of my vacation that month. i was expecting my period to come before june 6th because i was going to another vacation where i would be in swimsuits. of course i didnt want to be on my period. june 3rd, 4th, 5th come and go….my period was no where to be found. here comes june 6th and still no period. i freak out. i’m the kind of person who needs to know what’s going on at all times. so instead of killing myself with curiosity, i bought 3 tests. all positive. one had a faint line so i was hopeful, then i read that it’s only faint when hgc starts to show up (which only pregnant women have). ugh i wanted to die. i couldn’t believe it. here i am a successful 25 year old woman, beautiful car, my own place, traveling, just living my best life…and now, i’m pregnant…

i hate to say this, but if we’re being real, as soon as i found out, i did not cry…i was just like wow that’s crazy, now i have to get an abortion. i already knew what route i was going to take. there was just no way i could have a baby. a baby that was not made out of love, not made with my [future] husband, a baby that was going to come into this ugly world. i made an appointment a few days after i came back from vacation.

1st appt: in texas you’re required to have 2 appointments. the first one consists of blood tests, a consultation, and an ultrasound. because i was so early. barley 3 weeks, you could see only like a small dot. the nurse said it wasn’t even an embryo yet. i saw nearly 25 girls there. no one talked to each other. everyone seemed nervous, scared, and just tired. by this time, i had decided to have the medical procedure because i didn’t want to feel anything.

2nd appt: the night before my appointment was the first time i cried. the first time i actually got emotional and thought about the “what ifs”. a million things ran through my head. i called a depression hotline because i was so sad. i was confused now. i was so sure that i wanted to do this. and just cried to sleep. next thing i know, it’s morning and i’m on the way to my appointment. i felt a little better. i knew i was making the right decision for myself. honestly, i don’t remember anything. i don’t even remember seeing the doctor. i remember hearing him but that was it. next thing i know, i’m in my friends car on the way home. i bled a little and had cramps, but nothing different than a regular period.

this was the first and last abortion i hope to have. i hope i never have to do this again. i have promised myself to never have unprotected sex again. this was 100% my fault and could have been avoided. i could have saved $550 and a lifetime of what if thoughts. i can’t ever say i’m happy this happened to me, but i can say i am glad it did. it’s just another thing i have learned from and will grow from. abortion was the right choice for me.