so quickly i decided to keep it. in my mind there was no other way. i was so set on keeping it. then suddenly i didn’t want it. i thought about it and suddenly the idea of having a baby at 18 and being a hostess terrified me. i made the decision so fast it feels. it was probably the most painful thing i’ve experienced and i’d never do it again. i don’t know if i regret it or not. i know i’m sad and i miss my almost-baby. but it was my choice and i’m glad i even had the choice.