i was cramping, which is normal for me the few days leading up to my period, and breasts were incredibly sore and tender, more so than usual. i was exceptionally tired and had the most vivid dreams, all were signs for me.  by the time i took the test, my period was officially 5 days late. the test read “yes+” and i cried im世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 tely. i have never wanted kids. i personally believe that i am too selfish and lack the compassion needed to be a mother. i also have severe depression and anxiety, with a history of self harm and suicidal thoughts, i knew i would not survive a pregnancy. i called my doctor the next day for options, and found out i was 5 weeks 2 days from my last period, they gave me an emergency referral to planned parenthood. i was mercifully able to get an appt for the following week, they had one opening sooner but i couldn’t get off from work. i researched both the medical and surgical procedures, i originally wanted to do the medical (taking the medicine to expel the pregnancy) but that sounded more unpleasant and i didn’t want to go in for more than one appt, which made me opt for surgical. i didnt want to tell my partner yet, so my mom went with me, which i’m so grateful for. my appt took all of 3 hrs. i was weighed, blood pressure taken, ultrasound was performed to see how far along i was(6 weeks 3 days at appt day), the nurse asked if i wanted to know if there was a heartbeat(no) and if it was just one embryo(no). they never pressured me, and wanted to make sure this was totally my decision. i asked about my options for birth control im世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 tely after the procedure, and asked for an iud. i was given a valium and a muscle relaxer 30mins before the procedure, and on the exam table, they gave me a shot of lidocaine in my cervix (which didnt help) and dilated my cervix. it was the worst pain i have ever gone through, including debilitating cramps and past trauma. removing the pregnancy and insertion of my iud took 4 minutes, and i was done.

my cramping and bleeding were very light and tolerable afterwards, which probably wouldnt have been the case if i had done the medicine.

i would be 19 weeks pregnant right now if i had chosen to keep it and i still do not regret my decision. i decided to share my story to help other women/couples. i’m grateful i had the choice but it was never something i wanted to do