i had my first abortion in the middle of my last year of college. i was stressed out, emotionally taxed, and uncertain about my future. my relationship with my family is complex and has left me estranged from them, forcing me in a position where i have to provide for myself with no safety net to fall back on. i had one night stand with a fellow art student, it was ironic that i had to argue with him over the use of a condom, he claimed that he never got anybody pregnant but i persisted anyways. regardless, the condom broke and i left the scene frantically calling close friends for the morning after pill. within two hours i found a dose and silently prayed that i would be okay.

weeks later i found myself in disbelief over a missed period. after two inconclusive pregnancy tests, i went to planned parenthood and found out that i was indeed pregnant. i couldn’t stop crying. i felt like my world was crumbling. i was struggling to graduate from school, facing thousands in loans, and recovering from ptsd that developed from childhood trauma and abuse. to top it off, the father refused to speak with me and avoided me at school. however, i was grateful to have such supportive staff around me at planned parenthood. i had an option and i had a place that i could go to that would not only provide the abortion but provide it in a safe and supportive environment. nobody forced me to make a choice, i made the choice. i made the choice because i looked at the pros and cons of what an impact having a child at that moment would mean for my future and the child’s. it took a lot of thought and consideration on my part and it insults me to think that someone would judge me so harshly because they may think they know whats best for me.

i even had someone tell me that “i manifested my pregnancy because i cared too much about trying to prevent it in the first place!” and her reasoning behind this statement was that she had unprotected sex multiple times and never had an issue with pregnancy. i lost a lot of “friends” when i made the choice. but only because of their ignorance. i don’t feel like i should have to explain myself to people, but doesn’t belittle my experience. i will always support a persons right to choose for themselves what the best course of action is for their situation, and i will support right for people to be educated on what their options are without irrational bias or persecution based on religious beliefs.