i remember being at work and having a pregnancy test in my bag, i knew i needed to do it but i was so nervous. i pushed the test upon my sleeve and went to the toilets. i took the clearblue test and it came up positive. it was extremely faint but it was obvious that it was a positive. at that point, a lot of the feelings i had been feeling made sense such as cravings, weight gain and tugging feelings in my belly. i im世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 tely text my mum telling her and got back to work. when i finished work and finally got home an hour later, my mum sat me down to discuss this with me. i was only 18 years old at the time so as much as i was an adult, i still was very young. it took me a week to finally make a decision on what i wanted to do. i was completely in two minds. i wanted to have my baby regardless of my situation but at the same time i knew i wasn’t ready especially not to do it on my own. that week passed and i made the call to bpas. they gave me an appointment for 2 weeks away, i am guessing to give me time to change my mind. i hadn’t changed my mind and i went on the 15th of november 2017 to bpas. i filled out the first form asking me questions such as, was i on birth control when i conceived or have i been pregnant previously etc. they then took me upstairs to the main waiting area. i was called into the room and the nurse was again discussing the process to me and examining me medically. after talking through last period dates etc, i was estimated to be roughly 8 weeks pregnant. the nurse then called my mum into the room and the nurse did an internal ultrasound. honestly, this was enough to scare me. it was a very uncomfortable feeling. at this point, the nurse has looked at me and said, it looks like the baby stopped growing at 5 weeks and 1 day. i looked at my mum and cried uncontrollably. the nurse removed the ultrasound and i got dressed and sat back down on the chair next to her desk. she went through my two options. she said, i either let the miscarriage continue on its own and go back to the doctors in a week or two to have a check up or i go through with the abortion now and end it now. i did not want to put my body under any more stress or carry on living knowing my baby is inside me passing through so i decided to go through with the abortion. it feels like my brain wasn’t functioning properly in that moment because even to this day i can’t remember how many tablets i took orally or through my vagina. all i do remember is being given antibiotics in case i had chlamydia or gonorrhea. the nurse went through all the aftercare procedures with me and i then went home. it took a good 5 hours for the bleeding to start but the cramps started im世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 tely after taking the medication. the bleeding was very heavy for 4 days and on the 5th and 6th day it was lighter bleeding but bigger clots. after 8 days, it was all over. to this day, i wish things had ended differently and i do sit in my room sometimes and think about how my life would have been so different. everyone makes the decision of aborting under different circumstances and this is what makes it difficult for people to understand.