i was 30, married with a 3-year-old daughter. my husband and i had decided to involve ourselves in a sexual relationship with another married couple. so stupid. i was taking a daily birth control pill regularly. 12 weeks later i discovered that i was pregnant. after discussing it over with my husband, we made a mutual decision to abort the pregnancy. we weren’t in any position financially or emotionally with our relationship to introduce another child into our family. after i got off work that day, i drove over an hour to get to the clinic in illinois. i was there alone. my husband didn’t come with me. i waited for nearly 5 hours. i remember sitting next to a young lady that was on abortion #13 that day. #13!!

they weren’t supposed to give me the pain medication because i didn’t have anyone to drive me and i was in the last group to go through the procedure. i was on the table and started feeling funny. the nurse had given me the pain meds. i couldn’t stay at the clinic, it was already after 10pm.they sent me home, told me to stop at the gas station and buy a sandwich – it will get the medicine out of my system faster.
i made it home. my husband was sleeping. i don’t even remember if he was awake or if we even talked that night. it seemed like an eternity when i finally showered and got to bed.

i woke up the next morning, went to work and never skipped a beat.
i still think about the “what if”, but i know i made the right decision for us. i have so much to say, just never have anyone to say any of it to. it will always be an emotional life event that will always be in the middle of my mind.