i write because it is hard for me to believe that we are still fighting for the right to choose when and with whom to have a child.

i was 28 years old and in a relationship with an emotionally unstable man who was unable to hold a job longer than a week or two before being fired. when i discovered that i was pregnant, the reality of being tied to this man forever suddenly hit home. he did not want a child—ever—because he knew he would have a hard time providing for the child and he was worried that he would pass on his mental illness (for this i give him credit).

he went with me to get the abortion and was very supportive. but, i ended the relationship soon afterwards. i did want to have children—but with someone who is stable and able to be a dad. i spent some time in therapy to look at why i thought i deserved to have losers in my life. during that time, i met my current husband (and i checked his references!).

i sometimes think about the child that would have been. but i have no regrets, i know that i did the right thing for both of us.

i now have two wonderful children that i love very much ages 15 and 12. they have a stable home and a dad that loves them dearly.