as many teenagers do, i had quite the rebellious phase in high school. i was having a lot of psychological problems that caused me to partake in “high risk behaviors” like risky sex. i had been having unprotected sex with a lot of guys since my freshman year in high school, but two months into my senior year, i realized that i had entirely missed my period. i took a test and found out that i was pregnant. i struggled with the decision that came with finding out i was pregnant – should i keep the baby, give it up for adoption, or have an abortion? each time i came to what i thought was a decision, i’d change my mind and rethink the entire thing. i knew that the logical decision was to have an abortion, but i could have this baby. i had enough money to start off on my own. i could do this. but i ended up realizing that i wasn’t ready to have a child in the first place, let alone raise one. i had spent my entire life thinking i was an adult, but in reality, i needed to grow up and make a decision. i went to the clinic by myself and had an abortion. the guilt that came afterwards was horrifying. i knew that no choice was a good one for me, but i chose the one that enabled me to continue growing as a person and to one day provide my future children with the best life they can possibly have. it wasn’t my time.