we were married in the early 80’s and didn’t really do much birth control beyond withdrawal, but we hadn’t planned on kids, and even though we had sex for years, i didn’t get pregnant until 1986. i was still in college, and he was on his first job. we had no money and some debt due to student living. he left it up to me. being pregnant was a horrible experience because i was always either vomiting or starving.

when i went up stairs, i was out of breath. i felt like i had a parasite inside. i would wake up and get sick before i was even out of bed or fully awake. drugs didn’t help. all i craved was potato chips. so i had the abortion at a little clinic, and it was painful for about two seconds, and i had some cramping afterwards, but it was no big deal. i went in for a little while, came out, went home, slept and just had one day of recovery. i’ve never regretted it. it was a fetus, not a child. i thought about having kids many times but decided against it in the end. even having a dog was a lot of work. kids are great, but you should only have them if you really want them and want to devote most of your life to them. i was a neglected kid and it’s no fun. i’m very grateful that even though we lived in texas, i could get an abortion and we didn’t have to fly to another state or europe or something. we wouldn’t have had the money for that.

sometimes, i think, “gee, i wonder what our lives would have been life if i had given birth?” but it’s not any regret at all, just like wondering, “gee, i wonder what my life would have been like if i’d gone to hollywood to be an actor instead of getting married?” i’m happy with the choices i made. i don’t tell most people about it because they get weird about abortion, not because of any shame. one family member is a right wing fundamentalist so i’m sure it would make him and his family upset. no need for all that. they do know i’m pro-abortion, though.