i was 25, single & pregnant by a man from across the country. both of us just returning from a trip that we quit our dead end jobs to go on. neither of us wanted or could afford a child at this point in our lives. during this trip, before i realized i was pregnant, i was taking meds to help me sleep and taking pain meds like it was my job, because i couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. i also drank a lot.

now, i know i messed up, i got pregnant, i had unprotected sex. i know. i just don’t believe a child should be a punishment for a mistake. and with all of the other factors i knew i couldn’t keep the pregnancy. i don’t regret having an abortion, but it does make me sad, especially since i found out my best friend was 1 week ahead of my pregnancy. her baby is a week older than mine would have been, and i’ll have to see him for the rest of my life. also i’ve always known i didn’t want children of my own and that i wanted to be a foster parent instead. now in some weird way i feel unqualified to be a foster parent, to be a mother.

it was all or nothing for me. abortion or have and raise a baby by myself. i had a really hard time deciding what i was going going to do. ultimately, i chose to make myself better, more responsible, less selfish, and financially stable before bringing a baby into the world.