i’m a mother of 3 wonderful children. an 11 year old daughter, 8 year old son and almost 2 year old son. when i found out i was pregnant with my daughter, abortion to me was never an option at that time. when i found out i was pregnant with my 2nd child, my 8 year old son, i still didn’t consider abortion to be an option even though my boyfriend (now husband) did not want another child. 2 months after giving birth to my 2nd child i wanted to get my tubes tied, but guess what, i was pregnant again! no way could i handle a 3rd child at that time, i had to get an abortion and i knew it. i tried the pill, i tried the nuvaring, i tried the depo shot. nothing was working for me. then it happened again, i was pregnant again. now i felt i was in a predicament as i knew, fairly well, an employee at the clinic i had to go to and i was absolutely mortified that she would see me there again and judge me. she didn’t and never will. after my 2nd abortion i decided it was time to try the mirena. that did well for 2 years, and then it came out. 7 months later, pregnant again. you may be wondering, why didn’t i go back to get my tubes tied after my first abortion? life happens. i had 2 small children and they were my life, i didn’t take the best care of myself. back to the clinic. i now had 3 abortions under my belt, these people must think i am a monster. another year came and went and i was pregnant again. i made an appointment, i went to the appointment, but was unable to pay so i walked out crying, thinking my husband is going to leave me, we can not have another child. it was right before christmas – by the time i would have enough money to cover the costs, i would be too far along. well, we knew then, that we had to go through with this pregnancy and we now have 3 wonderful children. i often find myself wondering what if it was another girl, what if this, what if that…well i will tell you this? what if abortion was not available to me? i don’t know, but it probably wouldn’t be good. i would not be where i am now. every time i had to visit the clinic, i was never judged for my decisions inside. the outside world was a different story. no one knows how many abortions i have had, but i wanted to share, because i know i can’t be the only one and i want others to know that if you’ve had multiple abortions, you’re not a monster. we all have to make the decisions that are best for us and our families.