i am 29. i found out that i was pregnant after i felt my breasts felt sore and i had nausea. i went to the doctor im世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 tely.

i’m also a hypochondriac so i don’t have patience to troll webmd for symptoms. the doctor revealed it to me as if she thought i would be ecstatic. i started crying, screaming “oh my god, can you please check again? i beg you”.

on the bus home, i felt my belly and apologized to whatever was inside me. i was mad, anxious, extremely sad. i called up the planned parenthood clinic in seattle and scheduled the abortion.

i usually am an independent woman who makes a decision and fully takes charge to take care of crisis. i was really happy with myself on how well i was handling it. i was in complete ‘let’s fix this’ mode.

the day came and i took an uber to the clinic. i checked in and had breakfast so my energy would be up for whatever i was about to go through. after i got my ultrasound picture, i saw the tiny formation of an embryo. i wished it paradise and was ready to endure the next steps. i was fed a cocktail of drugs and at this point, i did not have any sensation. everything felt fluid. i told the nurse i was nervous…the doctor performing the procedure was so quick that i had nervousness if she was rushing it. she said i could go to the recovery room to rest.

that night…i hated my life. i was so anxious that i was hoping to rewind or have more time for the decision.

my body was lifeless.. i truly hope god can forgive me. i was stupid and was not ready. i recently started self loathing again. i’m worried for myself and my health constantly. so much that i feel it’s bothering people around me.

i don’t regret the decision. i regret my recklessness and my immaturity. i see kids now. i see their mom’s…maybe one day i might have one again. i hope i’ll be ready.