i am a 23 year old woman from a small, extremely conservative town in rural ohio. for years, i was fed ridiculous information in school and at church. i was taught that masturbation causes pregnancy, hiv is a death sentence and condoms are ineffective and dangerous. over and over it was drilled into our heads that abortion was murder. and i believed it all until the day it happened to me.

i changed my mind on january 3, 2009, when i found out i was pregnant. 23 days earlier, on my 19th birthday, i became a victim of sexual assault. i had been on birth control since i was 12 to combat my endometriosis and adenomyosis, but since i moved to school and began supporting myself, i could no longer afford the $75/month to pay for my birth control. so, when i was assaulted, i was not protected against pregnancy.

on top of the many emotional problems i was facing after the assault, i was in a lot of physical pain. i had my suspicions so i took a pregnancy test and it was positive. while i knew it was a possibility, the pregnancy was still a shock to me and i knew that carrying to term would not be an option for me at that point. due to the many reproductive health problems i faced, i was well aware of what i would face as an expectant mother. i would be considered a “high risk” patient and have to go in for ultrasounds every other week. co-pays are expensive. i wouldn’t be able to afford it. i would also need to be on special medications that would have totaled almost $200/month.

the night i was assaulted was one of the scariest, most horrible nights of my life. to have a child through something like that would be devastating for me. as much as i would have loved that child, i would have never been able to give it the life that it deserved. i would never be able to look at it and love it fully knowing how it was conceived. there would be too much pain.

after i found out about the pregnancy and before plans were made for my abortion, i had heavily considered suicide. i was depressed. i was scared. i had no one i could tell. i would have rather died than carry the child of my rapist. i have never regretted my decision to have the abortion. i was comforted by the wonderful nurses at the clinic and saw a counselor there for several months after the procedure to help me cope. it was one of the best medical experiences i have ever had. i have never felt more compassion or kindness from a physician and their staff.

because of the abortion i was able to continue school. i went on to graduate from my university cum laude with a degree in visual communications. i have a job and i pay taxes. none of this would have been possible without my decision to follow through with my abortion.