my abortion was an agony. but it was also a blessing. for it taught me that one cannot judge what someone else can do. i was lightheartedly anti-choice throughout my teens, believing that sex was a responsibility and that my incidence as a woman meant i had to accept pregnancy as not only a possibility, but as an imperative. when i was 24, i fell pregnant in a foreign country by a man who did not care. i was stupid to be so sexually flippant, because i was brokenhearted. and i was not lightheartedly abortion-seeking. i was alone and terrified. i was not, in any sense, ready to be a good mother. i don’t believe my child should have to pay for any of my actions simply because people might shame me. if i didn’t abort, it would have simply been to appease my parents, or to not be cast as evil. for those who think it is evil, i assure you it was a very tortured decision and one that i have regretted, though ultimately i am grateful for the freedoms women have fought so tirelessly for. i believe women need to have the choice to abort, to make their own decisions. biology is skewed in favour of men, and so are relationship dynamics. i only learned to truly treasure myself through this decision. when you live in a world that overly values women for their sexuality, we believe it is our only way to power, to love, to value. the victims are the unwanted children and the women who are forced into illegal abortions or childbirth. you don’t have to like abortion, but until women and girls have parity with men, it is a reality. my abortion has made me a better person, a more confident woman, free to care deeply for my loved ones.