i’ve been pro choice since i was old enough to understand the politics of abortion. i found out i was pregnant at 18 and made the decision to parent. i felt capable, and i was ok with the idea of being a mom.

fast forward 7 years later. i am unemployed after leaving a high stress job months earlier and have failed to find employment even after returning to school. i am in a new relationship with a wonderful man. and i find out i am pregnant.

my parents are still helping support me after my decision to “choose life,” 7 years prior. it was a very easy decision. there is no possible way i could continue the pregnancy. none. it wouldn’t be fair to my boyfriend who didn’t feel emotionally or financially stable enough to be a dad. it wouldn’t be fair to my son who struggled as the son of a single teen mom and often had to go without things he wanted. it wouldn’t be fair to my parents who are still helping me with childcare and monetary support. and it wouldn’t be fair to a baby to be born into poverty and chaos.

and to anyone who would say i should choose adoption, are you paying my sons therapy bills for “giving away,” his sibling?

i called planned parenthood that same day and made an appointment for that afternoon. my boyfriend came with me. i was 5 weeks pregnant. there was no heartbeat yet visible on the ultrasound. just a tiny yolk sac.

i was grateful i was going through this so early.

it was an easy decision for me to choose a medical pill abortion. i liked the idea of going through this in the privacy of my own home.
i was led into a room to take my mifepristone. the clinician gave us privacy to take the pill. i thought my decision through thoroughly. i cried, and i took the pill.

i started bleeding the following evening. i took the misoprostol and prepared for the worst. i had read hundreds of stories online and prepares for contractions and unbearable cramping. it didn’t come. i just bled the tiniest amount,, with no clots.

a few days later i started having intermittent contractions, but nothing painful. just annoying. i was a little weepy, but my boyfriend stayed with me and supported me the whole time. the day before my follow up visit at planned parenthood i passed a large clot and i knew it was over. i felt sad, but mostly relieved.
an ultrasound the next day confirmed that my uterus was empty.

i don’t regret my decision at all. i was a little hormonal and sad at first and thought about the “what ifs,” but as time goes on it doesn’t affect me at all. i’d make the same decision a thousand times over. it was the most selfless and responsible decision for everyone involved.