i was in my 30s years old at the time. i had always wanted a baby – eventually – but due to pursuing my education, becoming financially stable, and finding the right partner, the time hadn’t previously been right.

after separating from my husband at the time, i started seeing someone new. just three months into our relationship, we found ourselves unintentionally pregnant. i wasn’t sure yet where our relationship would head, nor was he. he wasn’t sure if he wanted children – ever. he offered to support whatever decision i made, but i knew two things clearly: (1) i wanted to have a baby who was wanted by both of its parents, and (2) more than “wanting a baby” (at any cost), i wanted to have a partner and a stable relationship. i didn’t want him to feel like he had to be with me because we were pregnant. i didn’t want to be with someone unless they were with me just because they wanted to be. in that sense, it was a fairly easy decision for both of us that we didn’t want to have a baby together at that time. the abortion itself was still difficult – not physically, but knowing that we were at a fork in the road and had a difficult choice. but it was the right choice and now 2 years later we are still together and pregnant by choice.