i had just been accepted into a university after a hard year with my father and step mother and moving out suddenly to get away from them. i was 19 years old living with my boyfriend of 2 almost 3 years when i found out that i was pregnant.

originally told 19 weeks, i was in shock. i had never once experienced morning sickness, soreness of anything, my periods had always been irregular. nothing out of the ordinary. that was until my smallish figure began getting a tummy. then one night while laying down, it happened, i felt a movement and i had never been so scared my entire life. i laid awake until 7 that next morning knowing that i had no choice but to accept the reality that i needed to get a pregnancy test done. my boyfriend went to work as normal and i smiled and acted like nothing was wrong saying goodbye to him. as soon as he left i went to planned parenthood when i was told that i was pregnant and felt my heart sink into my butt because i felt so terrified and cornered. i couldn’t give up my dream of going to college. i was too young to raise a child, i was a child of a 19 year-old and saw all the struggles and failures of my mother growing up only to push me away from becoming that very thing. i let my boyfriend know minutes after finding out only to be completely shocked by his reaction, he had told me whatever i had wanted to do he would support me. for a slight moment in time i considered raising a child but realized there was no way i could give a child everything it needed at my age and knew that the best thing would be to do would be to have an abortion. i had to travel out of state to go to an abortion clinic only to find out that the planned parenthood i went to had been wrong on how far along i was… they told me i was at least 26 weeks pregnant, the cut off for that clinic was 21.6 weeks and had told me of another clinic in another state that would do the procedure for anyone under 28 weeks. they helped me schedule an appointment at the other clinic prompetly and were so much help. my boyfriend and i then had to travel 10 hours to another state. i was terrified beyond belief at this point just beating myself up with anger for not knowing any sooner. we arrived that night, got a hotel and at 1 p.m. that next day we arrived for my appointment at the clinic. they handed me a bunch of paperwork to fill out and after the first page of reading my eyes filled with tears thinking of all the things that would/could go wrong with going through with all this. my boyfriend told me to just listen to what the doctor had to say and so i did. i then waited with anticipation to hear my named called which when i finally was called it was to have an ultrasound done and a counseling session. the ultrasound revealed that i was actually borderline 29 weeks and i thought i was screwed at that moment after hearing that but they said that because i was so young and healthy they would see no problem why they wouldn’t be able to preform the procedure. i was so relieved to hear that but then came the part of all the medical portion of it. i hate needles and to be poked at was something i was just hell bent on. i pushed through the fears and got the iv and blood drawn to move forward with everything. talking to the counselor after my ultrasound was probably one of the best things of the whole thing because she was able to comfort me and let me confide in her with all my fears and doubts. she really listened and it made getting through all of it so much better. she was with me the whole 3 days of my procedure and some thing about having the same person there with you the whole time brought an unbelievable sense of comfort. the first day had passed after they had done what they needed and then came the second day, bright and early, 7am. they brought other girls in that were having the same procedure done, labor and delivery, to get to know each other and all of our stories. 3 counselors were leading the session and hearing other girls going through what i was going through brought so much comfort.. i wasn’t alone. after the counseling i went back into a procedure room and let them do there thing to prepare me for labor and delivery the next day. hours later after getting back to the hotel i had began getting terrible chills, in a panic my boyfriend brought me back to the clinic only to find out that the doctor wanted to induce labor on me because she felt that my body was going into shock. i had no idea how painful the next 4 hours would be with the contractions coming and going. they kept the clinic open just for me with two nurses and the doctor. they stayed there with me for hours until i finally delivered. i had never felt so much relief my entire life. i apologized to the doctors and nurses for yelling so much and they laughed and told me they were proud of me. they kept the clinic open until 10:30pm sitting with me monitoring me to make sure i was okay. they then told me to go home and rest and come back for a check up at 1pm the next day. i did as said but i cannot even begin to explain the amount of relief i had knowing that it was finally over with. i slept so good and came in smiling the next afternoon. all the nurses were happy to see me and the doctor did her check up, talked to me a little and told me if i ever needed anything to call. the whole experience was life changing.. positive and negative. i am forever grateful to those doctors, nurses and counselors. they have given me a second chance at life. i will not lie and say it was easy, but it was a decision i will never regret because everything it’s given back to me.