i think the most important thing everyone wants to hear is how the abortion happened, what it felt like and how i feel now. well i just recently got the abortion less than 24 hours ago.

the process was pretty quick but painful. i went in to the clinic, there were actual protestors outside asking me if they could help me with my decision on alternative options. i ignored them and rushed inside the building just like every other woman that was there. i was glad to see that i wasn’t the only young adult there. i’m only 19 but there were minors there with parents, adults that had kids who tried bringing them into the clinic, young couples, older couples, everyone you could think of was there. after my paperwork i went into the back for my ultrasound. there was no sound, no heartbeat. the nurse was kind enough to spare me that moment of knowing that the baby was there. i looked away to keep from seeing it. 11 weeks 6 days. two finger pricks later and i’m paying my total, $360.00 flat. the nurse told me to go into the back so they could give me my medicine before the procedure. i took a few pills, put two into my cheeks, changed my clothes, put on a pad and waited until i was called. i looked around at everyone and we were all anxious about this. we all drifted to sleep because of the medicine and one by one we were woken up to go into the back to meet the doctor. when it was my turn, i went into the back and they told me to take off all my bottoms, lay on the table and put my heels up. the nurses made this entire experience a little easier. the doctor examined me, gave me a shot in my cervix, inserted the devices for a vacuum abortion and began. the pain took my breath away and brought me to tears. i held the nurses hand and she talked me through it. small seconds of relief when the suction stopped but went away when the doctor began again. 30 seconds of suction later and we’re done. i cried a little not because i was sad that i had did this but just because of the pain. if you are going to get one, take the drugs. don’t be brave. i was helped to another room with the other ladies i came in with. we all got heating pads and blankets. we laid back and drifted to sleep until we felt we could get up. after the procedure i didn’t bleed heavily right away. it took some time and when it did, it was a heavy period at its worst. when they say buy the big bulky thick overnight pads, they mean it! after it was all done, i didn’t feel bad. i’m glad i did it. i realized that this is my body and my life. i wasn’t ready to be a mother. currently i have no support from my friends and my family doesn’t know but at the same time i’m okay with that. if you lose friends because of your decision with your body, oh well. i’m proud to say i did the right choice for myself and that’s all that matters. thanks for reading!