i was 27 when i had my abortion. i was in a very controlling and abusive relationship with a man who was 20 years my senior. it was a very bad situation.  when i took the pregnancy test and realized that yes, i was pregnant, i told him about it. he was angry and verbally abusive and when he started to calm down he said,”just what i need, another kid”. up to that point i didn’t know he even had any other children. (we had been dating for over a year at this point) he never saw the kids he had, in fact, he was living off of me and my money. i was paying his rent, paying for his food, etc. he was working part time and getting paid “under the table” – it was at that point i realized that he was doing that in order to avoid paying child support for the kids he already had.  not the kind of situation i had thought i’d ever be in.

i thought everything over, discussed it with my mom, and decided that i could not bring a life into a situation like that. could i have taken care of the baby?  probably…but, i also didn’t want to have a child with someone who never cared to know or cared about his own child…much less someone who was manipulative and controlling.

i told him what i had decided and he said he’d go with me.

i went to the clinic (after the 3 day waiting period), and on my way in and out was shouted at by protesters. i made my decision and i wasn’t turning back no matter what they said.

i recall being in the room, the nurse offered to hold my hand, but i refused. there was a poster of puppies on the ceiling. then i lay in recovery for a bit and was on my way.

we left and i started to drive away, at which point, he said, “could you drop me at (his friend’s house) so i can borrow his motorcycle?” i told him no way. i just went through one of the most difficult days of my life and you want me to run you around?

i missed the next several days of work as i was an emotional wreck after.

he and i went our separate ways shortly after i had had the abortion. he stalked me for a long while after i told him i couldn’t see him anymore. needless to say, i’m glad he is out of my life.

it took a long time for me to emotionally heal from that relationship and from the abortion. i had always hoped that someday i would have the opportunity to have children with someone who was really in love with me and not abusive.

here it is now, 11 years later and i am in a loving relationship with a wonderful man.  last year, however, i had to have a hysterectomy due to fibroids.  i never had and now will no longer will ever be able to bear children. however, the choice to have an abortion that i made in 2001, i still stand strong with.