i was 22 and in a loving relationship with a great guy i thought i’d marry, but this was right as my eyes were starting to open to the person he really was.

i knew for weeks i was pregnant and ignored it not knowing what to do with the news. i finally told him and he was so happy that we’d be a family permanently. to this day i still don’t know what set off the warning bells in my head but i remember looking at him and realizing, “oh no, i’ll be stuck with him forever.” i researched options alone and decided the minimally invasive aspiration method was right for me. it was very expensive and he didn’t help me to pay for it at all. i went through with my abortion anyway, with him at my side. over the next year he grew darker and more controlling and unhappy, telling me hurtful and scary things all the time. he would tell me if i ever dated someone else he’d kill him and make me watch, and he constantly blamed me for “killing our baby”. i tried to leave him several times and he wouldn’t let me. he had my entire family on his side. finally, another woman caught his eye and it was my only chance to get out. i still worry what my life would be like if i was stuck with him and child.