i waited for a long time to have sex, holding off many boyfriends, wanting to wait. i was in my 20s, and my relationship with my best friend was evolving into more, and it seemed like i had waited long enough and i might as well see what it was all about.

i was naive about it, and believed him when he said he thought he was infertile. the first month after we “did it”, i didn’t get my period. i was pissed, mad, felt invaded. i just wanted it gone, out. no question, no hesitation. by this time, i had realized that we had been better “friends” than “more than friends,” and there was no way i was going to be tied to him for the rest of my life by having a child together. i was kid, i was just getting started in my life. a child was not an option, no way.

i was raised in a pro-life home. my parents attended rallies, and i saw films with baby parts in buckets. but what really stuck with me was seeing a card on our refrigerator. even as a child, i looked at the image representing how many babies had been aborted, and i thought – what if all of those babies had been born into homes where they were not wanted, where the parents couldn’t take care of them. i thought – it was probably for the better.

but it wasn’t until it happened to me that i really understood what pro-choice means. i took control of my own body, and i am so thankful that i had that choice. i am now a mother of two, and i have no regrets, and never did. even more, now, i understand the requirements of being a parent, and what you have to be willing and able to give to your child. now i can do that. i had a chance to live my life, to grow, mature, get an education, have a career. and now i am taking time off to raise my beautiful children, and i wouldn’t have it any other way.

if my child is ever in the same situation, i would support her to make whatever decision feels right to her. i will trust her to own her body.

i also know now, having a baby has permanent effects on a woman’s body. people flippantly say, have the baby and give it up for adoption, but that was never an option for me. i couldn’t “disappear” for 6 months to secretly have a baby. going through a pregnancy is traumatic, the birth process is crazy, the physical and emotional effects are lifelong.

ending the pregnancy was a choice that i do not regret and i am not ashamed of. as an adult, i look back at my 20-something self, and i am proud that i made the right choice for me.