it was a month after i tried to commit suicide that i was raped. while driving myself home after the rape, i could feel what he had left behind in me. the only idea that was going through my mind was how could i forget about it and go to work the next day.

two months later, i was late for my menstral cycle. as much as i wanted to believe it was my boyfriend’s child, the doctor informed me the timing showed it to be from the rape. as much as pro-life people say “god wanted you to have the baby,” all i could wonder was, “how could god allow this to happen to me?” thankfully, i had a friend at work who was much older and had gone through the same thing when she was in her teens. i had just dropped out of college and my mother was kicking me out of her home because of it. on top of having nothing, i was pregnant with my rapist’s baby. if i had to go back, i would do the same thing all over again, but this time i would allow myself to be there emotionally. if i could give someone any advice, it would be that you’re not alone and everyone has their own reasons. you’re not wrong.