i was 20 at the time i found out that i was pregnant. for weeks in december, i felt incredibly hungry, my lower back was in searing pain a majority of the time, and my pelvic bones physically felt like they were stretching out and growing. i disregarded it as growing pains since i was still young.

then my boyfriend (at that time) and i had just come back home from a long weekend visiting his friends when i decided to take a pregnancy test so i could eliminate that as a possible reason why my body was wracked with pain. i took two tests to make sure, and both came out as positive. there was zero doubt in my mind about what i had to do. i was a young college student on birth control who could not care or provide for a child. i also didn’t want it. i was terrified that this thing was growing inside of me regardless of wanting it or not. so to pay for the abortion, i worked christmas eve and got paid double because it was a holiday. this, along with some of my savings and my boyfriend’s contribution, paid for the procedure. i still feel upset that i couldn’t spend that night with my family. it was the day before my 21st birthday in january when i went to planned parenthood to have the abortion. it was a long process of meetings, ultrasound and having the nurses check that i was healthy to undergo the procedure. i tried to crack a joke to lighten the mood while meeting with a counselor and she looked uncomfortable that i was trying to lighten the mood. i asked to keep the ultrasound so that i could be reminded of the possibility of becoming a mother someday. afterwards, i had the procedure, which was surprisingly brief. i felt a huge wave of relief come over me as i left the clinic and went home. this was a powerful and positive experience for me. i understood from that point onward that i need to take control of my life and not let this happen again until i choose to become a mother. i believe having that choice changed my life completely. if i had not had the option for an abortion, my life and my dreams would have come to a full stop. because of my freedom to choose what happens to my body, i can now continue to become the person i have wanted to be. it was the right decision for me without a doubt.