i got pregnant my freshman year of college. i was the smart, religious kid, and i definitely knew better… or so i thought. what i did know for sure was that there was no way i was going to keep a baby.

i made up a story of being raped to that it would be ‘ok’ for me to terminate the pregnancy. my boyfriend at the time, and the father of the baby, said he’d marry me. but i still went through with the procedure. i even think i may have miscarried before the actual abortion, but i was in such a dissociative state that i just went ahead as planned. i’ve been to confession and admitted what i did, but i wonder if i am truly sorry… it just seems so unfair that our bodies are programmed to start being sexual way before we’re ready to deal with the consequences.