i was 19 years old and my partner was 22. i was a week late on my period and my breasts were very swollen and sore, so i had my friend who works at a medical clinic bring home a test for me. i was almost positive before taking the test that i was pregnant so when the results came back positive i was not in as much shock.

i think i knew right away what my decision was going to be. my partner and i were not in love and there was no way i could raise a child and not be married to the father. it hurts so much to this day (2 years later) and i think about it often. i wonder if the man who would have been the father ever thinks about it or feels pain like i do. he was supportive and offered to go with me but i chose to have two close friends with me.

having an abortion has had a tremendous impact on much of my life. i often drive past the planned parenthood (who were so supportive, nonjudgmental and just so amazing) where i had the procedure done and people sometimes stand outside holding signs. i try and stay strong as often as possible but one day while driving by, they were people outside and i burst into tears.

it also effects my sex life and my future partners. it’s like giving them a piece of my soul, something i hold so sacredly within my heart, and hope they don’t hate me for it, for something i can never change. i am thankful for the support i received at the time and for websites like this that make hard days a lot better.