i had an abortion at barely 16 years old. it wasn’t my first idea, but i wasn’t in a relationship and had been abusing drugs regularly.

i was the first one of my friends to be pregnant and i felt completely ostracized and alone. i remember the counseling session before the abortion, crying hysterically and being told “if you don’t calm down, we’re not going to give you your abortion.” when i awoke, i was in a room with several thirty to forty year old women, wearing wedding rings.

now that i’m thirty-one and married with two happy, healthy kids, i understand why those women, too, may have been there. i have suffered serious birthing injuries and it would be catastrophic to my health to carry another child. i would make the choice to abort in the unlikely event that i became pregnant now. and i would have my husband and my family’s support.

this is not always the case. i have a friend who speaks out against abortion frequently and loudly. i happen to know that she had an abortion some years ago and didn’t tell anyone. in fact, only told me. i carry her secret because she couldn’t bear the shame that would be imposed on her to admit it now. maybe she never will. but in the meantime, i have no problem being a voice (unashamed) of a woman who made that choice. and it was the right choice.