in 2000, i was a 32 year old, single mother of 12 year old and found out i was pregnant. i was scared and had little financial security. my parents were strict, fundamental, evangelical christians so there was no support from them and i had placed a baby for adoption the year prior.

i spoke with the father of my unborn child and told him that i was planning to get an abortion. he said that he was glad and would pay for half. since he and i were no longer together he did not want to participate outside of giving me money. i decided to go to a facility 45 minutes away from my home because i was scared that people i knew would see me. my friend drove me to the facility. when we got out there were lots of protestors screaming things like “baby killer”, “murderer”! there was one lady that praying and holding a sign of a supposedly aborted fetus. i was completely overwhelmed with that spectacle and was shocked that there were people yelling and screaming. when i got into the facility i didn’t realize that all the girls that were there were having abortions. it seemed like doctors clinic but it was so strange. after signing papers and talking to one of the health professionals, they took me back into a room lined with recliners. there were approximately 12 other girls that were in the room. they gave each of us pills that was for anxiety. as i was sitting in the chair waiting, you could hear the yelling of the protestors getting louder and louder, then the back door opened and from where i was sitting i could see two security guards that came into the back door with a gentleman that had a halloween mask on his face. he stood in the doorway and then removed the mask. he was the doctor that was going to be performing the abortions. i ask one of the nurses why he had a mask on and she explained that the protestors had threatened to kill him and his family so he had to remain anonymous. i was seriously in shock that i was living in america and this was what i had to go through. it was definitely shocking! there were girls around me that were crying, one girl starting screaming and saying she didn’t want to go through with it, another girl was saying this was her 4th abortion. it was all so overwhelming. when it was finally my turn, i remember being on the table and felt pulling and tugging and some pain and then it was over. they brought me back to the recovery area where i stayed for a while and my friend took me back home. while i certainly don’t want to have to choose abortion again, i am glad that i had the freedom to choose what was best for me and my situation. i have no shame, i live in my truth and know that i did what was best for me and my daughter. when i look back on that time in my life i can say that the protestors and the fact that doctor had to hide was more terrifying to me than anything else. i will never be ashamed of the my truth and am proud that i have daughters that know my truth! be blessed and stand proud and tall in your own truth!