13 years ago i became pregnant while on the pill. my boyfriend at the time accused me of getting pregnant on purpose because we had been going through a rough patch and he even had the nerve to ask me if the baby was definitely his.

i had not gotten pregnant on purpose, after all i was on the pill. while it was not a hard decision at the time because i just knew that it was the right thing to do, i have been dealing with the aftermath of it ever since. i often think about how it would be if i had had the baby; i think to myself – my child would have been — years old this year; i wonder what s/he would have looked like; i wonder if i will ever get the chance to have another child again or am i being punished because i had an abortion… the holidays are especially difficult because the baby was due in the middle of december… april 20th is difficult because that is the day i had the procedure done. 13 years later i still dwell and think about it. i don’t think it is something that one would ever get over, but time does heal all wounds. at least i hope it does.