i was pregnant seven times in six years.

apparently my husband’s job that took him away a week at a time was ideal to maximize our fertility. when we got pregnant the first time, we were in no position to parent a child right then, and had an abortion at eight weeks. it was not pleasant, but then neither is getting a dental cavity filled. a year later, i was pregnant again, and things were different. we married and welcomed our oldest son into the world wholeheartedly. but i had not had the glowing, easy pregnancy that my mother and cousins had had. i felt awful the entire time, and was depressed afterward. of course, i fell pregnant again almost im世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 tely. we looked at each other and said, simultaneously, “abortion.” we decided to give the next child up for adoption to a couple of friends of ours who could not have children, and are still in contact with our nephew. another pregnancy, when i was due to have foot surgery. oh, hell no. another abortion. a miscarriage, which would have been another abortion. finally, another pregnancy, and this one was when we could welcome our second son into the family. and even then, i had to argue with the doctors about giving me a tubal ligation. i had been so sick when pregnant! i vomited everything i ate for five months, had personality disorders develop, and had my pelvis dislocate. i wanted my system broken, and finally it was, and i was relieved.

do not think that i don’t know how to use contraceptives. i’m a college graduate. i do. every one of those pregnancies were despite contraception, from pills to condoms to a sponge. but i regret none of my decisions. i regret the necessity of deciding, but one must do what one must do, and i had a choice. even now i work to make sure that my sons know they are likely not shooting blanks, and to make sure that the choice remains for my daughters-in-law, whoever they may be, and for my granddaughters, to have the children they want in the time they want them, whether they need to take a pill or have an abortion. this is a foundational right of womanhood, and my litmus test when i vote.